Safety and Comfort
“I want to sit next to Mommy on the plane. I want to be safe!” the child shouted.
I was in line to board my plane back to the Bay Area. I at first shrugged off the child’s desire for safety as silliness. Of course you’re safe, even here in the terminal. Your parents are standing right next to you.
Yet why would the child still feel threatened? Perhaps it’s because of the bright lights in the terminal, the annoying “DING” the ticket-scanner makes every second, the loud banter of people on their cell phones carrying countless conversations about countless topics… Compare that to the comfort of a cushioned chair and a cup of complimentary apple juice, and you start to see why the child might feel safer in the plane.
Statistically the kid is probably safer with his parents on the ground than in the plane. I doubt the kid understands Reason and statistics, but the kid’s fear illustrates an idea: Sometimes Reason tells us that it is safer at point A, but the environment and other factors make it feel safer at point B.
If you can learn how to make people feel comfortable when you socialize with them, you can open up an entire new world of social interaction. First of all, most of us don’t like talking to strangers because our cynical minds have told us that “stranger = danger.” If you can establish familiarity and convey a non-creepy status quickly, you can get out of the “stranger” category and into the “random person” category. From there you can transition to “nice acquaintance,” then to “interesting acquaintance,” and so on and so forth. Secondly, when people are comfortable they tend to be more trusting and less inhibited. This state makes it easier for them to connect with others.
Without comfort, social interaction is impossible and unpleasant!
To the guys: Women are attracted to men they feel safe around. I cannot emphasize this enough! It’s a no-brainer, but it’s worth repeating.
I think this attraction stems from our ancient history. Thousands of years ago when bears and mountain lions roamed the land, a strong man with a club was a valuable asset to have nearby. A strong man with a club could also protect women from other men with clubs who wanted to drag them back to their caves.
The landscape has evolved since those prehistoric times, but the desire for protection is more present than ever. The world has no shortage of creepers, scammers, thieves, and rapists. And let’s not forget terrorists, kidnappers, and other evildoers!
Feminists cry that the role of the male as the protector is dead. While I do not believe a woman needs a man to protect her, having a strong one around certainly adds a feeling of safety to many situations. Am I right?
Perhaps the officially recognized role of protector has been debunked for men (I don’t mind). Still, the world is full of danger and uncertainty. If a man voluntarily pick up the sword and shield of The Protector (I just saw “How To Train Your Dragon” so I’m thinking about ancient weaponry) he becomes exponentially more attractive to anybody –especially women.
Think about it!
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This entry was posted on March 28, 2010 at 11:41 pm and is filed under Attraction, Socializing In General. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
